happy new year!
its 2007!
how time flies!
how was your 2006?
mine was one great roller coaster ride.
one with so much happiness but also one where i felt much sadness.
i guess people usually get all reflective at the end of the year where one looks back on what he or she has achieved in the past year.
i can say i achieved much more than just a diploma.
i now understand pain of the heart, the importance of friends and the importance of family.

after my O levels in 2004, i wouldn't imagine i would get a diploma this fast.
it took my 1 year to gain it.
and its a diploma of a field that i have so much passion for.
studying for it wasn't as painful.
though it was tough, it still felt good to be able to study something i wanted to do for so long.
people tell me i'm lucky to know what i want to do for my career at such a young age, and i agree with them.
i'm privillaged to have parents, relatives in the field.
coming to the age where you can understand what the adults are speaking and able to give some sensible feedback as well.

it still feels weird for me.
when i see my brother during family gatherings, he'll be off playing with the younger cousins and all, while i'll be the one sitting at the table chatting with the adults.
as not so long ago, i was like my brother.
and now?
i'm studying something that will be used in my career, able to learn how to drive, and will be serving my national service soon.
its scary to see cousins and friends where one day we were just hanging around town, watching movies, playing etc
and now some are working, driving, serving their ns.
and am privillaged to be an uncle!
can you believe it?
i was once a kid, and now i'm an uncle.

i feel that we(family and friends) are growing up so fast.
days of not giving a damn, just living a care-free life have come and gone.
now i feel the importance of studying, realising the coming onslaught of working life.
not to mention the fear of ns.
people say that because i've been posted to scdf, it won't be as tough for me.
i sure hope so, because i had to stop my degree course for now as ns doesn't give deferments for degree courses.
so hopefully i'll be able to do my course part-time during my time in ns.
also i hope to be posted to a driver or something so i can get my driving license. haha
but of course i'm prepared to having it NOT my way.
so i'll just take on whatever comes my way.

ns has brought up a new problem for me in life.
not that it caused me to stop my studies.
but the fact that i'll not be able to see my friends as often as i like.
the fear of losing friends along the way.
friends from squash, school and other parts of my life.
people i trust and respect said it won't be easy but it is possible to stay in touch.
its all down to me on how badly i want the friendship.
and from where i stand on, i just can't imagine life without these friends and probably give up sleep on the weekends to meet them.

this year i've gained some friends which i feel i'm greatful for.
i'm not exactly a good christian.
i don't go to church, i don't really live a good lifestyle from time to time.
and these friends i've gained over the year have showed me that certain fun isn't all that fun.
not saying that all should stop going to clubs and stop drinking alcohol but i feel that that isn't me.
clubbing is fun, but i just feel that i'm not myself when i club.
i can't alcohol, so drinking is out.
the new year's countdown was spent with a cousin and 2 other friends.

first up was church, something touched me. the message that was preached really got to me. a prayer was said that felt like an answer i've been longing for so long.
and i should continue going back to find out more.
lunch was great, meeting people i've not seen in ages, not to mention the food. haha
then it was off to the istana.
historical moment for me. haha
being a singaporean, it was the first time i've been there.
the area was huge!
saw a few golf holes in the estate. haha
and being at a place with so much history, my real excitment was kept inside me(just in case i made a fool of myself)
then it was off to 'tcc'
chilled there for a while, had a coffee and just had all kinds of conversations.
then it was just plain catching up and sitting by the padang and watching the fireworks was fun by itself.
it felt good to have conversations and just chilling out.
that actually struck me that that is fun to me.
my ideal hanging out.
maybe 2007 is the year i should try to find my way.

anyway, 2007 is here!
lets hope i don't repeat my mistakes of the past and make up for those mistakes in the year to come.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!